January 16, 2014
I sat in the cold under a blue canopy staring at the peach colored casket of the woman who was my surrogate mother. My brother’s grave was just a few feet away. The stones of my ancestors lay willy nilly in the grass, waiting to be reset. Closure is so difficult when the sun shines down and the grass seems to be sprouting despite the bitter air. After the funeral remarks, Bing Crosby serenaded the small throng gathered to say goodbye. We held hands and swooned, singing the lyrics as tears ran down our faces:
“My darling it’s incredible that someone so unforgettable feels that I’m unforgettable too.”
My grandfather and I danced to this song at my wedding. He held me close, swaying with the music while a tear formed in his eye as he saw me transform from the little girl he held in his arms to a woman entering the world. We didn’t say a word. We just allowed ourselves to be swept up in the moment. For so long I thought that the lyrics were about one beloved being seen as unforgettable, but as I sat holding the hands of my relatives and sang the chorus, I realized that it’s about reciprocity. The song is about being honored to be seen as unforgettable by someone you see as amazing. This was my grandmother’s final gift to us in this world. She was honored to be seen as unforgettable by so many who are so unforgettable to her. It was the ultimate I love you and goodbye.