January 15, 2014
How do you eulogize love? My solution: offer the lessons learned with humor and grace.
Lessons from the Gramosphere
- All holidays are worth celebrating, even the ones from Canada or other religions.
- If you turn on your Italian brain, you can eat unlimited quantities of anything.
- Walnuts never expire if you keep them in a white cabinet. The best ones taste like earwax.
- Cute is not just for babies. Lace and ruffles can look good at any age, but especially on little girls panties. Never be ashamed of pink.
- You can make bread in a crockpot, cookies out of potato chips, cake out of beans, and sweet bread out of tomatoes. You can even add fire to ice cream if you have some real vanilla.
- Baseball is a religion. All you need to do is turn on the TV and believe.
- Looking for four-leaf clover is a sanctioned recreational activity.
- Everything goes down better with soda. If you’re a kid it will be the diet caffeine free kind that you didn’t really want.
- There are an unlimited number of milk flavors and ice creams of the month. Some are a surprise. Not all of them are good.
- The smell of lilacs is the smell of happiness.
- You can learn everything you need to know about life from Michael Landon, John Wayne, John Boy Walton, Perry Mason, and Angela Lansberry.
- You can make almost anything if you believe you can and you keep a steady supply of yarn, fabric, tacky glue, googley eyes, and the recipe for sugar starch.
- There really is an unlimited bowl of M & Ms. If you try to find the bottom you will end up with a sugar hangover and rainbow colored poop.
- Traditions like sausage sandwiches and fried dough for New Years, heart shaped meat loafs on Valentines day, green mashed potatoes on St. Patrick’s day, jelly beans and colored eggs on Easter, and lasagna on Christmas are kid magic. ADHD, diabetes, and heart disease be damned.
- Cherish the gold and green colored coins you get in the mail for the luck they bring and the love they represent. Do not eat the chocolate. It’s basically brown colored wax.
- A good batch of pancakes cures almost any heartache.
- Never leave home without clean underwear and socks. You never know when an emergency room visit lurks around the corner.
- You can get just as clean from a sink full of water, a bar of dial soap, and a can of powder as you can from a shower.
- Grandma’s bed was an arena for foot wrestling, pillow fights, blanket war, and bed acrobatics provided you have the skills of a ninja and the eyes of a panther.
- Sometimes setting butter out with the intention to bake is as good as baking because it means you have hope, energy, and sweet dreams.
- You can make anything into a story if you have good inflection and know how to talk with your hands.
- Life is about creating new stories. The best ones are worth telling with humor, gusto, and flare.
- Bad times will always find you but the good times will pull you through. Focus on the good times and have fun as often as you can.
- You are never too old to learn to say I love you.
- Life is about what you see out the window and what you share with the world.